December 29th, 2016 | Published in this mortal coil
tl;dr: I’m taking a little break from social media. I hate the thought of missing a direct tweet or private message from you on whatever platform we have accounts on together, so I’ve put some contact details at the bottom.
I’ve been taking a lot of pictures lately. Probably more than I ever have.
I’ve been taking pictures for a long time: My first job after college involved photography to go with my reporting, so I learned how to get decent results with a film camera, and I learned some darkroom work. I’ve made it a point to have a camera with a few more features or settings than I know what to do with since Ben was born, and I’ve hated going on a trip or vacation without having a camera along for about that long.
A few years back I set aside my mid-consumer range dSLR for a premium point-and-shoot rangefinder. I wasn’t sure how I’d deal with having a fixed, relatively wide lens but it turned out okay.
This year I decided to upgrade. I got a mirrorless, interchangeable lens camera out at the high end relative to anything else I’ve ever bought. I love it. It’s as close to my ideal camera as anything I know of, and I’ve enjoyed shooting with it more than anything I’ve had since my Canon PowerShot G5. When I see something in the light I can make the camera see it, too. When I just want to grab it and go to take snapshots, it lets me do that. When I choose to be patient and take along a tripod and trigger, it rewards my patience. It’s a few steps ahead of me, which has pushed me to learn more. I’m taking it with me almost everywhere. Photography has become what I want to do when I have any time to do anything, and it’s something I want to get better at.
Something I’ve been thinking about the past few weeks, though, is that I haven’t been giving myself a ton of space to form my own thoughts about my work.
A friend recently observed that photography is great for me because there’s an emotive/artistic side and there’s a deeply technical side. It’s very easy for me to get pulled into the technical side, whether it’s optimizing the gear I use, figuring out how to automate or speed up a darkroom workflow, or figuring out how to best distribute an image. I love the combination of an iPad, SD card reader, Lightroom Mobile, and AirDrop. It’s really easy to capture, edit, and share an image from the Max or over lunch.
The other side—the artistic one—is harder to enumerate. I don’t understand it very well yet, and I need to learn and practice a lot more. I’ve started looking for teachers and people who are willing to let me practice the kinds of photography that involve humans with them.
I’ve also started thinking a lot more about what I’m trying to do outside of “capture an image competently,” and what it means when I take a picture, or when a picture survives the gauntlet it ran from previsualization to capture to “flagged as a keeper” to edit to printing/sharing/etc.
And I’ve also been asking myself about what I’m after at the print/share/etc. stage of the process.
So there’s one set of thoughts. Now for another:
My diary app recently started kicking up “on this day” entries from a few years back, when I went on a social media sabbatical. I was pretty unhappy with the state of my social brain. Everything went from being a vague impression still sloshing around in the limbic system to a tweet or a post somewhere, but with a layer of self-editing that really bothered me because it felt reflexive and unconsidered. I’d stop when I’d catch myself doing it and ask myself why I was doing it, and I never liked the answers. So I deleted all the social apps on my phone, deactivated my accounts, and turned off all the mail notifications the more obnoxious services will still send you when they can tell you’re not “engaged.”
I’m not going to try to sell you on doing that. It wasn’t like I experienced some sort of creative renaissance. I did just stop sharing everything for a while, and that meant I didn’t have to waste time wondering why I was sharing the way I did, or wondering what sort of reaction something I’d shared had elicited. I felt like I had a certain amount of mental space I hadn’t had in a while.
After a while, I drifted back in, and began the cycle all over. This past year has had its own set of challenges, and I’ve started to feel a growing disconnect between the person I am and the person I’m sort of performing on social media. I once read that younger folks usually take a break in the form of walking away from their accounts, never to return. They just establish a new account and build a new set of friends/connections, leaving behind their old identity. I don’t like the thought of that because I hate the thought of being read as having unfriended/unfollowed someone when I really just want to get a break from all of it, but I think I need another pause, so I’m going to take one. Here’s how to reach me:
mph at puddingbowl.org
- Google Hangouts/Talk/Whatever-they-call-it:
- Signal: Please drop a mail and we can exchange info.