Madison Avenue Has Found Me.

January 15th, 2009  |  Published in this mortal coil  |  1 Comment

Sometimes I think about American culture’s virtually weaponized marketing apparatus. I wonder to myself about the many ways all the crap I buy could somehow boomerang as VPs of product development toil away in their big office buildings figuring out ways to exploit some chink in my armor that I reveal every time I put Moon Pies, my World of Warcraft subscription and UFC pay-per-views on the same card.

Then the answer comes, sliding through the mail slot around 12:30 on a sunny January afternoon:


“Hey, Jeff?”

“Yeah, Rick?”

“The Moon Pies-n-WoW demographic … I’ve been thinking …”

“Go on …”

“We’ve been missing an X factor … “

“Go on …”

“Three little letters: U. F. C.”

“Holy shit, dude!”

“I know! Call up the Hamilton guys… those poker-playin’ dragons have found a home!”


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