A-AAA RV = Old Skool Phonebook Placement Optimization Gold!

July 10th, 2007  |  Published in etc

So, one of my weekly duties involves assembling a small newsletteresque collection of news and notes about networking. I throw in links to small color pieces at the end to sort of fluff it up. This week, for instance, I came across an AP report about campgrounds that offer free Wi-Fi:

“Jef Sutherland, vice president of information services for Kampgrounds of America, said that campers not only want to stay in touch with family and friends, but they also want to manage online banking transactions and check in with the office.

“‘We’ve become a society where e-mail is as important as our phone for business and personal communications,’ he said. ‘Our guests just expect Wi-Fi at KOAs.’

I know … I know … You’re thinking this is the part where I fly off the handle and start complaining about people schlepping their laptops off to the campground because I’m some sort of dirt-worshiping luddite. You’re wrong.

For starters, KOA may only be loosely defined as providing “campgrounds.” I suspect the “k” in the spelling is to deflect possible consumer protection lawsuits.

Second, I once spent the night in the Interior, SD KOA, which is near (in?) the Badlands. I was 13 or 14 at the time, and if I’d had a laptop along to distract me from the hyper-chlorinated pool, the pulverized concrete tenting surface and the “stream” that had largely turned into cracked mud, I would not have minded a small concession to technology’s intrusion on the pristine outdoors. But when I was 13 or 14 we didn’t have laptops; so I baked in the sun, got my wallet stolen from poolside, and enjoyed the salutary effects of a dry climate made even more dry by the steady blast of RV generator exhaust.

So no … no complaining about this “trend” from me. Instead, I helpfully provided a link to a pair of Wi-Fi-enabled RV park directories for my readers. I opened the links to make sure they were good, and my eyes fell upon a listing for the A-AAA Adult RV Park, just down the road from Newcastle, OK. I clicked for the transparently Yellow Pages-optimized business name, but stayed to find what, exactly, made it an “adult” RV park.

Alternate forms of kinship, indeed!

Sadly, its “adultness” appears to be contingent on a lack of “frills” like a swimming pool, plus its standing ban on tents. Unless, of course, customer testimonials mentioning sightings of “wild turkeys, turtles, quail, ducks” are some sort of code I know nothing about, or the love swing rentals are kept behind the counter and off the web site in the name of discrete adult fun.

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