Head. Hurts.

April 20th, 2007  |  Published in etc

Dahlia Lithwick at Slate on Gonzo for Gonzo:

This record reflects either a Harvard-trained lawyer–and former state Supreme Court judge–with absolutely no command of the facts or the law, or it reveals a proponent of the unitary executive theory with absolutely nothing to prove. Gonzales’ failure to even mount a defense; his posture of barely tolerating congressional inquiries; his refusal to concede that he owed the Senate any explanation or any evidence; his refusal to even accept that he bore some burden of proof–all of it tots up to a masterful display of the perfect contempt felt by the Bush executive branch for this Congress and its pretensions of oversight. In the plainest sense, Gonzales elevated the Bush legal doctrine of “Because I said so” into a public spectacle.

Viewed in that light, Gonzales did exactly what he needed to do yesterday. He took a high, inside pitch to the head for the team (nobody wants to look like a dolt on national television) but hit a massive home run for the notion that at the end of the day, congressional oversight over the executive branch is little more than empty theatre.

You know, just two days ago I wrote to pk.

“pk,” I sez:

“What’s weird to me about it is that you can tell Gonzalez has internalized a lot of the administration’s swagger, but doesn’t have the balls to back that up. So he does his little passive-aggressive ‘I prepare for all my testimony’ and ‘I’m not gonna win this debate’ muttering. Nice to hear Arlen Specter become Clubber Lang for a few moments — ‘Get back here, fool! I ain’t done with you!’

“Then, on his last question, the way his voice sort of lowered and became sad … compassionate. ‘One more fingernail, then I’m done … we’ll put vaseline on your blowtorch burns.'”

Dahlia was just, like, hedging her bets going into the weekend cycle, right? Maybe already a little drunk and sad because Specter didn’t just break a Perrier bottle over a desk and gut Gonzo on the spot?

Well … you know … two more years of this, then we get a Democrat in the White House who’ll inherit what amounts to The One Ring only with these whirling, spinning blades that come out of it, and instead of ending up like Gollum you just get your living head grafted onto a giant bronze statue that’s impervious to our Earth weapons and rampage around powered by a steam engine that gets its water to a boil by burning shredded tourist replicas of the Constitution.

I guess I’ll just be, like, “whatever” about it. Because what’s the Democratic unitary executive going to do? Make us all have health care?

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