Expanded No-Fly Post Massacre Interwebs Alert

April 17th, 2007  |  Published in etc

I’m upgrading my previous advice:

I come back from that place telling you to not search for “Cho Seung-Hui” on Technorati. You will learn nothing except who was taking a nap when a friend called with news of the massacre, or who quickly closed all their open porn windows so masturbation could take a back seat to their urgent mission to stand up several dozen dead people and march them around like zombie poster-children for whatever cause has been eating that particular blogger alive.

I’m adding the entire internets to that advisory, with a few exceptions:

  • Jon Swift: “Who Can We Blame for the Virginia Tech Massacre?,” because you know you want to look anyhow, and you might as well have a friendly face cataloging the worst of it:

    • “Did PC kill kids today?” (Yes, then it ate their livers, which were served on a dainty platter with Imus-bone toothpicks)

    • “‘What really worries me is if this was a test for other attacks,’ Strata wrote. ‘If the man was testing College responses then the key would be to make this look like anything BUT a terrorist attack.'”

That ‘Strata’ observation gets my “Clayton Cramer 2007 Memorial Award for the Advancement of Dodo-Headed ‘Analysis'” nod. It took over four years for someone to step up and fill the gap in my life that was left by refusing to ever go read Clayton Cramer again, lest I swallow my own tongue from convulsive laughter.

O.k. That last one is a dirty prank, because what you’ll get if you follow that link is a mildly croggling lead:

I like Derbyshire …

followed up by a defense I’d call “limp” if any part of it would stick together long enough to flop around over my head:

“I like Derbyshire. He sometimes has an eccentric and interesting take on things, he is not afraid to speak his mind (which does not always work out well for him), and most of all, he stands up the religious fascists.”

Wait … he “stands up the religious fascists” by, like, setting up blind dates with them and then not showing, or hiding behind the ferns at the hotel bar where they were to meet and taking pictures of them as they eat appetizer after appetizer waiting?

Oh … right … that was supposed to be “stands up to the religious fascists,” which is much more clear, because Derbyshire is frequently seen thrusting his pipe-stem into the chest of the nearest imam down at that mosque that has all the swastika buntings.

Anyhow … interwebs … steer clear.

Oh, what the hell … one more from the comments in that booby-prize link:

The fact is that young American men used to look up to John Wayne for guidance and now they look up to Elton John. And so the death cult of the Left adds another 33 notches to its belt.

If it’s real, it’s funny. If it’s not real, it’s still kinda funny.

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