ft phone company

January 24th, 2007  |  Published in etc  |  1 Comment

If you dial a long distance number but forget to add the “1” at the beginning, you get a recording telling you that you just tried to dial a long distance phone number but forgot to add the “1.”

At first I was, like, “Why? Why not just go one step further after divining the dialer’s intent and go ahead and place the call? After all, it told you with some authority that ‘you must first dial a 1 when dialing this number.'”

Then I thought “If I were a phone company executive, I wouldn’t do that because I’d be busy showing PowerPoint slides to other phone company executives about how if we offered the dialer a chance to go ahead and make the connection at the cost of ten cents or even just a nickle, we could make a buttload, same as with the ‘we’ll dial this 411 number for an extra $0.25!'”

Then I thought about our gym, where the line to sign in is the same line as new customers stand in to get a membership, and how if you’re standing there with your membership card waiting for it to get scanned and you’re behind five people who will take three minutes apiece to fill out forms or whatever, none of the four people milling around behind the counter will lift a finger to scan you in quickly. Why? Because it’s the same eight hours to them, so fuck it. Al has adopted a policy of just going into the gym without getting scanned … it’s not the same five minutes to her, so fuck them, yes?

The point being “Aw, fuckit” probably explains a lot more about what’s wrong in the world than anything else, including a global communications system so simultaneously awesome and retarded that it can both discern your intent and still refuse to lift a finger to accommodate it.


  1. gl. says:

    January 25th, 2007 at 5:57 pm (#)

    yes, thank you. both for pointing out this please-dial-1 absurdity and linking it to a general “fuck it” attitude. i’m a big fan of “good enough,” but that never means “fuck it” to me — especially when other people are involved.

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