First, Let’s Kill All the Squirrels

December 11th, 2006  |  Published in etc  |  3 Comments

BBC NEWS: Russian squirrel pack ‘kills dog’:

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

I knew we were wrong to trust the squirrels.


  1. Michael says:

    December 13th, 2006 at 5:05 pm (#)

    While putting up lights around our fence a few days ago there was a squirrel who looked me in the eye, then started scampering closer in short little bursts. When he got within what I judged to be lunging distance, I backed away from my fence and went inside for a few minutes.

    That squirrel had malcontent in its little furry heart.

  2. k. says:

    December 19th, 2006 at 1:05 pm (#)

    I saw that news story about the Russion squirrels probably about a year ago and have been unable to confirm it. But let’s just say that it’s true, do the facts really speak for themselves? In other words, does the story prove, as you suggest, that squirrels are vicious malcontents? Not any more (or less) than it proves that they are highly intelligent (bordering genius), industrious little fun lovers. First of all, I wouldn’t mind making off with little pieces of stray dog flesh myself. Or better yet, pieces of their owner. Second, the squirrel in your yard may have been trying to tell you something important like, “you left the stove on” or “the air in your back tire is kind of low.” Squirrels are lovers: fun lovers, human lovers, life lovers!

  3. mph says:

    December 19th, 2006 at 1:58 pm (#)

    Y’know, Kathleen … that’s exactly the sort of mind-warping relativist claptrap I’d expect from someone aspiring to someday becoming a tenured radical.

    Tell ya what … when your islamorodent overlords have killed all your protector dogs and you’re sitting in the special Girl Processing Center being fitted for your little fur burqa, you just think about how “fun loving” they are.

    I refuse to be a rodhimmi!

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