Space Manimals (Updated Rolling Impressions Edition)

August 30th, 2006  |  Published in etc

krystal.jpgOrdinarily I have the same healthy and bluff disregard for furries you’d find seemly in a man of my stature in his community.


But today StarFox Command came out for the DS, and it’s my unfortunate duty to announce that, until the novelty of flying around in a ship with an anthropomorphic space fox and his completely hot anthropomorphized space cat? fox? wing-chick wears off, We Are All Furries.

Krystal is teh hawt and I don’t care who knows it.

p.s. Player stats for online play include how many times they’ve dropped out. That’s good for spotting lamers right away, but probably bad once it starts meaning people look for that number and drop matches with a lamer in them. Or maybe it’s good because people will learn not to be so lame. Or bad because everyone’ll just figure there’s no point in hiding that you’re lame since no one will ever play at all if they keep dropping out because there’s a lamer. Got me.

p.p.s. In the setup there’s a special “use your own voice” setting. You get asked a bunch of questions, answer them into the DS’s mic, and it does something … unnatural … that causes all the characters in the game to speak in a strange, choppy gibberish that sounds like you talking in a strange, choppy gibberish. It’s soothing. At least for those of us who spend all day long alone in a small office with only their own voices for company anyhow. Normal people may experience disorientation or discomfort.

p.p.p.s Butchered in my first online, 4-way dogfight. If there are any kids on the plane tomorrow with DS’s, I’m gonna slip ’em the secret “DS downloadz” signal, then I’m gonna pwn ’em.

p^4s: One thing I don’t like about any game with a “strategic” bolt-on: In lieu of AI, you get “missions” with pretty much one solution. You either engage in the proper order, or you don’t. So if the solution to a mission isn’t immediately apparent, you spend a few rounds sort of poking at it until you figure out the combination that wins given the way the pieces are set up on the board to begin with. I’ve seen it on more than one DS game with a tactical/strategic element. On the other hand, the core fun to StarFox is the “flying around and shooting” part, so it’s no big.

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