Setting Expectations

August 18th, 2006  |  Published in etc

“Snakes on a Plane” slithers into audience embrace:

Early audiences lured to “Snakes on a Plane” by its sensational title and Internet hype said the film lived up to their expectations for an over-the-top thriller.

Hm. That’s sorta boring. Let’s rewrite:

Early audiences, ashamed that they stood in lines until midnight to watch a movie marketed to them on the basis of its unabashed shitiness, struggled manfully to put the best spin possible on their own pathetic need to be seen getting some joke, any joke, in public.

“Snakes on a Plane was AWESOME!” enthused Trucky McTruckerhat. “You totally need to go see it! It’s, like, totally this over-the-top action movie!”

“Samuel L. Jackson is totally AWESOME!” added Heath Kreinbrook. “When he yells at people, it’s, like the awesomest!”

“It’s funny,” noted a studio executive who declined to identify himself, “It’s like we walked down the street yelling ‘warm shit! get your bucket of warm shit!’ and people just flocked to it and dipped their fingers into the shit then yelled ‘Hey! This IS warm shit! AWESOME!'”

When asked how he felt about being the willing mark of a hamfisted viral marketing campaign, McTruckerton took a swig of his PBR and scoffed “I knew that … You think I didn’t know that? People just don’t GET IT!”

Cory Doctorow, noted author and proponent of the word “awesome” added that this was a sure sign that the long tail was totally going to validate the awesomeness of the movie in a post-DRM era. Reuters declined a free copy of his book.

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