Lunchtime at the Plaid Pantry

August 29th, 2006  |  Published in etc

My sweet tooth got the better of me this afternoon, so I scrounged a dollar off the floor and walked over to Plaid Pantry where I bought a delicious pink Creme-Filled Snowball (Mrs. Fresh brand, $1 apiece).

I took the purchase up to the counter.

“I used to loooove these as a kid,” offered the clerk.

Creme Filled Snowball“Yeah?” I said.

“Yeah. Until I learned something about them.”

I flashed on all the things I’d ever heard about food as a kid. Made with spider eggs, rat found in vat, Russians added feminizing hormones, foreign laborers caught ejaculating into batter, worker fell into creme churn … it only took a second.

“What … uh … what did you learn?”

“They got coconut on ’em. And I hate coconut.”

“So no spider eggs?”

“Nope. Just the coconuts.”


“Yeah. Spider eggs?”

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