Songs the Lord Should Have Taught Us

February 20th, 2006  |  Published in old and busted

If there’s one thing I wish my two World of Warcraft sponsors might have bothered to tell me, it’d have to be the magic incantation “/leave general.”

> VINCENT So if you’re quitting the life, what’ll you do?

>JULES That’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating. First, I’m gonna deliver this case to Marsellus. Then, basically, I’m gonna walk the earth.

>VINCENT What do you mean, walk the earth?

>JULES You know, like Caine in “KUNG FU.” Just walk from town to town, meet people, get in adventures.

But when you’re a Tauren warrior out on the plains looking for Swoop gizzard with a water-cleansing totem clutched in your meaty hoof/paw, the blather on General makes it almost impossible to effectively walk the earth. It’d be like if the title scenes of Caine traversing the western desert were set to “Valley Girl.” How do you get up your “solitary bull/man warrior walking the motherfucking earth” mojo with that racket going on?

So … “/leave general” and walk the Earth. Just like Caine.

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