Allow Me to Clarify

January 7th, 2006  |  Published in old and busted

Regarding yesterday morning’s crack about stains and buttocks and holy jeebus power:

I was wrapping up a phone conference when I came across that, so I didn’t have time to really think of the words to apply to the matter besides an inchoate snarl, but I’ll go ahead and try here, just because it’s come to my attention that mere snarling and the occasional gratuitous use of the word “fuck” is not conveying adequately the smirk on my lips when I type things into the interwebs.

Up to a few years ago, I might have said “I wasn’t raised in a faith tradition that” blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blah. But the fact is, I wasn’t raised in a faith tradition at all. Dad was a Brethren minister … yeah … and I was baptized into that church, but sometimes mom spoke in tongues (when everyone was doing that in the ’70s) and served on the temperance committee (but not, you know, like Carry Nation or anything). So what I’ve got going on is a sort of anabaptist/pietist/fundamentalist/charismatic thing, and my notions about “faith” and “god” are whatever I want them to be, pretty much.

When I think about The Fear taking me in a few years, and who I’ll be thinking I’m talking to in the still of the night, anyone eavesdropping will be able to tell pretty quickly that I cherrypicked most of my theology from college peace studies majors.

And that’s probably why I find the notion of a pack of fundamentalists skulking into the senate and smearing all the chairs with “anointing oil” completely repugnant.

“Like God couldn’t affect the thing without the oil,” said Ed this morning, and that’s about the most concise it’s going to get.

God, in the minds of these people, isn’t “involved” unless they pull their little stunt. It’s a mockery of something/someone these same people claim self-started the entire universe and occasionally chases demons into herds of swine when it’s not parting seas, flooding the entire planet, plotting Armageddon, or miraculously existing as both one and three.

And it kind of gets me, because I don’t even share their faith, but it concerns me immensely that they’re fucking it up so badly and being such goddamn tools about the whole thing.

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