Quantum Interwebs When Death is on the Line

December 18th, 2005  |  Published in old and busted  |  2 Comments

Cool or alarming, depending on your mood and where it takes you, is the capacity of the Internet to channel conversations from alternate universes.

I especially like comment #16. That’s awesome. I wonder if the other universe has cold fusion yet? And what does its candy taste like?

Just to keep this from being too short, my overwhelming impression of most political debate related to the week’s headlines (PATRIOT Renewal, NSA domestic spying, a few other nuggets):

> “But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy’s?

> “Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I’m not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me […] Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you […] and you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

> “You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”

Or maybe more simply: While remaining sunny about this particular proposition, it seems to me that probably most arguments applicable to current events occurring between 9/11/2001 and right now (and well into the mid-term elections) are officially exhausted. All that’s left is finding someone who hasn’t absorbed as many of their side’s talking points and rhetorically stomping and/or mocking them until I feel better.

Hence my recent enjoyment of “Sadly, No.”

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