The Time Traveler From FederalFundingProgram.com

August 26th, 2003  |  Published in Uncategorized

Best spam in a while.


Aerial photo of the time traveller’s warehouse, courtesy ExpertGPS

I plotted our time traveller’s coordinates. He’s somewhere in Winchester, MA, just like the message says.

Date: Fri, 22 Aug 2003 21:23:05 +0000 (GMT)

From: hps41@deutschland.de

Subject: Warp Watch Needed o

To: mhall@jupitermedia.com

Hello,

I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD

wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp

stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID

display. I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my

dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by

the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit,

and they fled on me.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received

certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:

Payment can be made in Galactic Credits, Platinum gold, or 2003

currency upon safe delivery of unit.

INSTRUCTIONS MUST BE FOLLOWED EXACTLY: Please transport unit in either

a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Friday August 22nd at

(exactly 4:00pm) Eastern Standard Time. A few minutes prior will be ok,

but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Nobody will be at those coordinates prior to 3:45pm EST, (so do not

transport before then).

Item is to be delivered at beginning of Lagrange Street in Winchester,

Massachusetts which is directly across the street from Stratford Road

located at: Latitude N 42.44852 & Longitude W 071.14651 and the

Elevation is 90 feet.

WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF

TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!! I DO

NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO

SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT OR BLOCK THE

TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE

TRANSFER. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SEND IT SO THAT THEY CANNOT REDIRECT OR

BLOCK IT???

If in doubt do not transport actual unit until your method of transfer

can be confirmed as a success. You just might need to send a

intergalactic courier to deliver item safely to me.

It is best if you send a intergalactic courier to deliver, this way you

can be certain the unit arrives ok, However If you are certain that you

havethe means to teleport unit in a safe manner please send a

(separate) email to me at: webmaster@federalfundingprogram.com only

after unit has been safely delivered with payment instructions.

Thanks Brian Appel

Do not reply directly back to this email as it will only be bounced

back to you.

wake

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